Only recently, I had to break off from a long standing friend so as to enable me focus more on my vision and future. I believe a time comes in everyone’s life that s/he has to let go of something-be it motives, relationship, passion, behavior. Letting go may be painful but if you have to do it, just do it!

Before accepting my decision, my friend said “life is unfair”. It’s true, life may be unfair but we’ve got to live it anyway. Life has dealt a deadly blow to the strong and weak; rich and poor; educated and unlearned alike. In such times, we seem to play the victims. The weight of the whole world seems to be leaning on our slim shoulders. We wail, we cry, we whine and we lament.

But that’s still ok!

Friends, truth be told, life happens to all of us, though degree and extend may vary. But it happens all the same. What differentiates the weak from the strong is the ability to bounce back again. While the weak buckle and groan, the strong pick the pieces of what remains and move on. The weak are emotional wrecks and the strong have emotional shock absorber.

With enough emotional strength, we can move our lives forward in incredible ways, despite the adversities we face. And you don’t have to be born emotionally strong either. You can develop this vital trait with practice. Secret of rituals people with remarkable emotional strength is that love fuels their drive to get the hard things done.

Life is not easy and will never be, which is why you have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.

Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of defeat and a life of victory filled with happiness and success. Adversity is inevitable, and it’s much like walking in to a turbulent windstorm. As you fight to push through it, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.

To weather the turbulent storm, be like the eagle that rides on the wings of the storm to sail. While other birds take shelter in windstorm, the eagle embraces storm to ride majestically to great heights.

Be an eagle! stop whining!

Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are in raw form, still holding the passions and values that move you, and little else. These are the lusts that matter – the inner love and vows that define you. It is this kind of love that drives you forward and even when the going gets tough. It is this kind of love that strengthens the mind, body and soul.

Far too often we think that emotional strength is all about how we respond to extreme circumstances.  How do we perform on stage during nationally televised event?  How do we do after our business fails and left us in deep debt?  Can we keep our life together even after suffering from a major, debilitating loss?

There’s no doubt that extreme circumstances test our bravery, determination and emotional strength, but what about common, daily circumstances? Just like every muscle in the body, the mind needs to be exercised to gain strength.  It needs to be worked consistently to grow and develop over time.  If you haven’t pushed yourself in thousands of little ways over time, of course you’ll crumble on the one day that things get really challenging.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Choose to get to the gym when it would be easier to sleep in.  Choose to do the tenth rep when it would be easier to quit at nine.  Choose to create something special when it would be easier to consume something mediocre.  Choose to raise your hand and ask that extra question when it would be easier to stay silent. When life gives you 1000 reasons to cry, give life 1001 reasons to smile.  Prove to yourself, in a thousand little ways, that you have the guts to get in the ring and wrestle with life.

Emotional strength is built through lots of little victories.  It’s the individual choices that we make on a daily basis that build our ‘emotional strength’ muscles.  We all want this kind of strength, but you can’t think your way to it.  You have to do something about it religiously.  It’s your daily actions that prove your emotional and mental fortitude.

The bottom line is that when things get difficult for most people, they find something easier to do.  When things get difficult for emotionally strong people, they find a way to stay on track. They simply chicken out. This is the best option anyway!